Thursday, June 03, 2010

There Goes My Wannabe Career as a Superhero


I'm ashamed to say I took the "Are you a hero - or just a henchman?" quiz on the LA Times site today (courtesy of a link on SF Signal) and washed out. Only scoring 50% on this geek trivia challenge, I was ranked as a "Mere Mortal".

That hurts. That really hurts.

I mean, I never had any allusions... I always knew I'd never stack up to the likes of Superman or Ghost Rider, but I thought that among the ranks of the metahumans I'd at least score something around the level of Captain Chaos (because Captain Chaos is awesome in his own right).

But "Mere Mortal"? There's no rising above that. You can study the superhero instructional guide that the Muppets got their hands on all you want, but you're never gonna cut it. Hell, as a mere mortal, you won't even get admittance to the bottom of the class at Hero High, and that's definitely a low water mark. As a "mere" mortal, you probably don't have much of a chance of a career as a non-powered masked vigilante like Batman - all the cool gadgets in the world won't help you rise above the depths of your mereness.

I guess that leaves me with just one option: villainy. The door's wide open there for mere mortals. I could take a stab at that. I have the office chair, I have a cat to stroke contemplatively, and I have a diabolical plan - well, okay, I don't have a diabolical plan yet, but I'm pretty sure I can come up with something. I'll just have to watch a few hours of Pinky and the Brain reruns for inspiration.

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

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