Monday, August 10, 2015

Want a Piece of Toast?

"Want a piece of toast? ...How about an English muffin?"

To all my fellow Red Dwarf fans: the answer to your breakfast time prayers is here — a smeg toaster!

No-one who's followed the boys from the Short Rouge One in their curry-and-lager-fueled bumblings across the galaxy can forget the occasional cameos by Lister's talking toaster. Obsessed with, obviously, all things toast-related, this smeg-headed small appliance was destroyed a couple of times over the course of the show — and for good reason: sometimes you just don't want a piece of toast.

A few days ago, my wife was out shopping in a specialty kitchen store in Vancouver and came across this brazenly red toaster with the word "Smeg" written across its face, making it perfect for any Red Dwarf fan's kitchen.

Admittedly, while the Talkie Toaster took a couple of different forms during its various appearances in different series, it didn't have "Smeg" stamped across its front. But this word referring to a disgusting biological substance was the insult of choice aboard the 'Dwarf, so it's about as perfect a tribute to old 'Talkie as a fan's going to get for his/her home, barring a raid on the BBC or Dave prop closets.

In fact, it'd be a perfect match for the Smeg refrigerator I stumbled across a few years ago (and I still wonder if the company knows how much you really, really wouldn't want a fridge full of smeg).

Now we just need to find a beverage dispensing machine that makes beer milkshakes...

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